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Top Chef Recapish 2: Bubble Tea

So, this whole start-off elimination thing where they bring in 29 chef-persons and then immediately haze them and PYKAG (pack your knives and go) 13 of them – it’s annoying.  It’s especially annoying that they actually force six of the 13 to go through another elimination round.  These six have been told that they’re “on the bubble” and the judges need to see more cooking before they can decide whether or not to crush their dreams right now…or later in the season.

The Bubble/Stew Room is a sad sight.  There’s Edward, who has a weird jaw-wiggling tic and a bad attitude (sorry, my Korean brother, it’s true), Andrew, who can’t stop himself from throwing a panna cotta on a plate with steamed mussels (eeuw), and Janine, the sister who can’t stop herself from spilling the sordid details of her horrible breakup.  The most horrible crime here?  Worse than an overdone veal medallion: the hair, people, the hair.

Edward overcame his scraggly goatee to grab a chef’s coat in the main competition.  Not so lucky for Janine and Andrew.

There’s also Laurent (horrifying facial hair skid mark on his French chin), Grayson (the Wisco girl with the Foreigner hair), and Molly (the cruise ship chef with something to prove)  in the bubble group.  Yawn.  So little to say about this bunch.  Grayson wins the other chef coat.  Laurent and his disgusting raw scallop dish are out, and Molly ends up not proving anything in particular about ocean-going food – except that when a giant shrimp is the majority of your dish, you probably shouldn’t overcook it.

Yawn.  So boring this episode.  Please get going, Top Chef!  Do not waste my time with any more video of people who are not going to be competing!

Other thoughts:

Emeril:  I like his comments – they’re tactfully delivered and seem thoughtful and to the point.  Still a little Deputy Dog, though.

Padma:  It’s Texas, not Hawaii.  Why is she sporting island-wear in every scene?

Hugh:  Oh, Frida.  RDC and I love/hate you and your weird mouth and Aspergers affect.  Please be yourself – right now you’re just boring us.

Step it up, Top Chef, step it up.



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