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My bags are packed. . .

So, as I am preparing to get out of town on an actual vacation for a few days and totally bored and useless at work today I found myself perusing the TSA website for the latest and greatest list of what you can and can’t take on an airplane. While I am deeply saddened and concerned that I can’t bring a bottle of water on the plane I think I should be able to make the best of the situation as the following items ARE allowed:
* Up to 4 oz. of essential non-prescription liquid medications including saline solution, eye care products and KY jelly*
* Gel-filled bras and similar prostethics
* Life support and life sustaining liquids such as bone marrow, blood products, and transplant organs carried for medical reasons**

You are permitted to bring solid cosmetics and personal hygiene items such as lipstick, lip balm and similar solids. Please remember these items must be solid and not liquid, gel or aerosol.

As I checked further down the list, I see that I will not be able to bring an axe but I can bring a battery operated robot. If I glue some googly eys on my pocket rocket*** does it count as a robot? And if I take my robot into the washroom with my 4 oz. of KY jelly will that count as joining the “Mile High Club?” Okay, I think we all know where
this is leading. . .

*The “Summer of Intimacy” kind of scares me. Also, if I bring 4 oz. of said product I might need assistance in the form of a flight attendant

**As opposed to “other” reasons?

***I guess “rocket” might connote “weapon” and though rockets (and blow guns) are not mentioned specifically, I will refrain from using the R word when security pulls it out of my bag and starts waving it around during my 4:30am check-in.

{ 4 } Comments

  1. kp | September 7, 2006 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    I’ll start making a KY belt bomb…seeing as how it’s acceptable by TSA standards…

  2. Miranda | September 7, 2006 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    Hmm… maybe we should leave a KY bomb in strategic places at home while we’re away – just for the enjoyment of the creepy realtor who will be showing our apartment every waking hour next week. That would teach her not to poke her nose into places where it doesn’t belong!

  3. LD | September 13, 2006 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    Don’t try to sneak on that lip bomb.

  4. Darx | September 14, 2006 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    KY belt bomb! I’m cracking up. Thank you for the laugh– I needed that.

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