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Mrs. Madrigal’s Home for Unwed Mothers

Recent telephone conversations with Mrs. Madrigal:

One.

MM: Honey, the man from across the alley said the gate was open and Sadie got out of the yard and he had to put her back inside.

Me: Um, ok. Glad to hear she’s safe.

MM: Honey, when you have someone over who doesn’t speak English you have to let them know to close the gate when they leave.

Me: Er, ok.

MM: You need to tell the delivery people.

Me: Well, I always wait and watch to make sure people close the gate.

MM: Oh. Well, I guess that man could have lied to me. They’re alley people, you know.


Two.

MM: Honey, is there any way to get out of my Curves membership?

Me: Probably not.

MM: I’ve only gone four times this year! I called to ask about cancelling and they said I would have to pay $50 and $10 for every month left on my contract.

Me: How many months are left?

MM: 2

Me: That’s probably what you should do then.

MM: I thought about just closing my bank account and letting them come after me.

Me: That’s a bad idea.

MM: Free legal advice! Free legal advice! Ok. Bye, honey.

Three.

MM: Honey, do you have a couple of beers I could buy?

Me: I think so.

MM: The girl across the alley – her family – you know, they’re racist, really the bottom of the heap – kicked her out because she’s pregnant by a black man.

Me: Oh.

MM: Her friend says she’s not pregnant.

Me: Oh.

MM: I don’t know. But she’s coming over to spend the night tonight.

Me: Oh.

MM: Just one night! I’m a sucker, but I’m not stupid!

Me: …

MM: So just leave the beer on the back porch, honey, and I’ll come get it.

{ 7 } Comments

  1. Kris | January 18, 2005 at 5:31 pm | Permalink

    Wow. Just… wow.

  2. Miranda | January 18, 2005 at 5:51 pm | Permalink

    You said it, Kris. Mrs. Madrigal’s phone calls are starting to come daily. I am concerned.

  3. karen | January 18, 2005 at 7:32 pm | Permalink

    oh man, no more wine loans. cut her off cold turkey.

  4. MOLT | January 18, 2005 at 9:15 pm | Permalink

    lol. I know a new job for you. I thought I was feeling blue until I read this post. Now, I am laughing, because I can see the facial expressions you must have had as each part of each conversation was uttered. Thanks for sharing.

  5. Vina | January 19, 2005 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    I can just see that one eyebrow arching….

  6. LD | January 19, 2005 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

    There should be a drinking game for how many times she calls you “honey”….although do you really want to play that game with her?

  7. Darx | January 22, 2005 at 6:57 pm | Permalink

    Mrs. Madrigal stories always make my day. Thank you!

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