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I Could Go Crazy on a Night Like Tonight When Summer’s Beginning to Give Up Her Fight

via - public domain stock photography! OK. I’m ready for Fall now. Yeah, yeah, it’s nice outside. Last days of Summer and all. And since we never had much of a summer this year these days are particularly sweet…blah blah blah. Whatever, people. Let’s get on with Fall, shall we? Enough with stupid, showy, sweaty Summer; I’m a Fall Girl.*

“But summer! Is nice!” I hear you say. “Summer is delightful! It’s warm and lush and everything is abloom and aflower!” Really, I do wonder how you manage to get through this modern life saying things like “aflower.” Still, you persist. “Summer! Full of birds and rainbows! Summer! So green and verdant!”

I feel that I must interrupt now. “Verdant?”

“A word used to describe something that is characterized by an abundance of verdure,” you say, patronizingly.

“Verdure. Doesn’t that mean ‘greenery’?” I ask.

“Er, yes. What’s your point?”

“So you basically just said Summer was ‘So green and full of greenery!’ What’s next? An argument that Summer is good because it’s so summery? Any other tautologies you’d like to throw out there?”

“Whatever!! My point is that summer is nice. Summer! Happy! Summer! Good!!”

At this point I must turn away as you are beginning to froth a bit at the mouth. Seriously. You should lay off that second cup of coffee. Still, I am not immune to your defense of the summer months. I (and Courtney and Emily Saliers) was born under the sign of Cancer, after all. It’s not that I don’t like Summer – it’s just that Fall is so clearly superior. In celebration of Fall, therefore, click on ‘more’ to read Five Reasons Fall Kicks Summer’s Ass:

*Not to be confused with ‘The Fall Guy,’ the 1981-1986 TV series about a stuntman who moonlights as a bounty hunter (Oh, good grief. How could this show run 6 years and ‘Manimal’ (a clearly superior show featuring a man who transmogrifies into Birds! and Big Cats!) be cancelled after only one season?!! Just another way in which Life Is Not Fair).

Five Reasons (in no particular order) Fall Kicks Summer’s Ass:

    1. Everyone looks better in Fall clothing.

    2. A hike through the woods on a crisp Fall day to a scenic outlook where you can see Fall foliage for miles and miles will fill you with an inner calm and make you believe that all things are possible.

    3. Fall is more romantic and offers more opportunities to hold hands and snuggle. (Why Summer is Bad for romance: in the words of Cole Porter, “I’d like to coo with my baby tonight/And pitch the woo with my baby tonight./But sister you’ll fight my baby tonight/’Cause it’s too darn hot.” Why Winter is Not as Good for romance: holding hands through mittens is not the same. And cuddling is not as enjoyable when accompanied by shivering.)

    4. Federal holidays every single month!

    5. Not as much visible sweat.

[Indigo Girls lyrics = 71]

{ 5 } Comments

  1. cat | September 20, 2004 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    I must admit, I’m a fall lover as well. Sweaters. It’s all about the sweaters.

  2. karen | September 20, 2004 at 4:40 pm | Permalink

    I vote for fall as well.
    Pumpkins…Sweaters…Pumpkins wearing sweaters…

  3. MOLT | September 20, 2004 at 6:19 pm | Permalink

    Ah, autumn, so gold and and goldeny. As I walked to my (borrowed) car this morning, I said, this is the weather for which I have been waiting all year. I can’t wait to wear my sweaters. Plus as my building is not air-conditioned and it is always exceedingly hot in there, I was thinking, soon I will have my sweaters and MOLT can terrorize children without wondering if I will pass out first. Yeah, autumn. So…autumnal

  4. Vanessa | September 23, 2004 at 1:59 pm | Permalink

    What is wrong with you people?! Sweaters? I look terrible in sweaters. Too bulky. Too brown/gold/dark green/plum. I want pink and bright and happy cherry all year round. I look good in little outfits that don’t weigh me down. Maybe the trees are sexy in the fall, but I don’t feel sexy wearing sweaters!

  5. Miranda | September 23, 2004 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    Suck it up, babe. You’re outnumbered on this here blog! But think of it this way – Fall means that you’re mere months away from breaking out your fleece Tinky-Winky outfit…

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