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On This Haunted Ground I Was Lost and Found

And now, a scene from the never-ending Cinema of the Absurd that is my house.

FADE IN:

INT. FOYER OF MRS. MADRIGAL’S HOUSE. LAST NIGHT.

The doorbell is ringing. A YOUNG WOMAN stands on the doorstep clutching a small dog. I open the door.

YOUNG WOMAN

Is this your dog? I found it running around down at the end of the street. The address on the dog tag is for this house.

ME

I think that’s my landlady’s dog, Sadie.

The lights come on at the top of the landing. MRS. MADRIGAL’S head appears. She is looking over the bannister at the scene below. She seems a bit groggy.

ME
Mrs. Madrigal – did you lose Sadie?
(turning back to the woman at the door)
I think that is her dog. Thank you for bringing her back.

MRS. MADRIGAL
(coming unsteadily down the stairs now)
What? What’s going on? Who is that?

The YOUNG WOMAN puts the dog down. The dog, now identified as the missing SADIE, immediately begins running in and out of my apartment in a manner suggesting that she believes herself to be aflame. The YOUNG WOMAN leaves.

ME
Mrs. Madrigal, did you know Sadie was missing?

MRS. MADRIGAL sits down at the bottom of the staircase. She puts her head in her hands.

MRS. MADRIGAL
(into her hands)
Oh, honey!! The dog!! I wouldn’t let her out the front but she pees and poops! On my rug!!

SADIE runs back out of my apartment and heads up the staircase to MRS. MADRIGAL’S apartment, site of the aforementioned peeing and pooping.

MRS. MADRIGAL
(wobbly, but standing now)
Sadie!! Bad dog! You’re a mess!! You’re a mess!! BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY!!!!!!
(to me)
Oh, honey, I’m drunk! I’ve been drinking wine!
(to Sadie)
Sadie! You go back inside!

EXIT MRS. MADRIGAL.

FADE to BLACK

[Echo and the Bunnymen lyrics = 1]

{ 7 } Comments

  1. barb | September 14, 2004 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    classic! thanks for the laugh on my boring boring day of school!!

  2. Miranda | September 14, 2004 at 3:34 pm | Permalink

    anything for you, barbie jane. you should ask for something more difficult to produce, however. a drunken mrs. madrigal is an all too common thing.

  3. karen | September 14, 2004 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    I think Sadie should wear a diaper.

  4. Miranda | September 14, 2004 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    I think Sadie should wear a smoke detector…

  5. karen | September 15, 2004 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…Lol!…
    Must…… illustrate….Sadie….wearing…smoke detector.

  6. Jesse | September 17, 2004 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    This is definitely from the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction file. When does the Kitty Kelley biography of Mrs. Madrigal come out?

  7. Miranda | September 17, 2004 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    It’s true. We need Kitty Kelley to solve the mystery of the elusive (and perhaps deceased) Mr. Madrigal!

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