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Goodbye Beard Papa

Oh Top Chef.  Welcome back.  Like an old friend who shows up one day after a long absence, you have returned with all your eye rolls, under-the-bus-throwing, seriously-ill-conceived vittles, and crazy judge faces.  Hi!

I am strangely compelled by this creature.  Why TWO pairs of glasses?  Why is your hairline so low?  What is up with your tiny, weird mouth?  Where have I seen that hairstyle before?  Oh, yeah, right here:

You know who I like, though?  Little Chuy.  What a cutie!

See, now that’s boyish charm.  Unlike a certain misguided Tin Tin wannabe…

Speaking of pasty creatures…

Just add whine.

Anyway, this episode featured a poor little girl’s quinceañera.  I say poor because she had to put up with all the cameras and the weird people and the (apparently) subpar food.  On the other hand, her family probably got the event for free and now she is the Queen of the Quinceañera in her school.  Win!  But, also lose (see food).

This episode also featured the season’s first bus-throwing-under.  Woot!  This happened:

Needless to say, getting pre-cooked frozen shrimp on a cooking competition show is a Bad Idea.

So then this face happened.

That’s Chef Keith assessing his longevity on this show.  Because, even though they didn’t end up serving the shrimp at all – and none of the judges actually had to even know that shrimp was a possibility in the first place, Chef Keith (of the poor judgment) got thrown under the bus and PYKAG-ed.  Have you never watched this show before, Chef Keith?  Rookie mistake.

Top Chef Lesson Two: if you make this face, the Bravo cameras will always catch it.

Alternate loser of tonight’s episode?  This shirt.

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